My Projected East Africa Route

Click Here for Jumbo Map!

Overall:

The red triangles are volcanoes, and their general trajectory across East Africa will be my route. If you guessed that I am following the Rift Valley from Ethiopia to Mozambique, good for you.

Phase I: Ethiopia-Kenya-Uganda

Beginning in Addis Ababa with the vaguely peach color, I intend to do the so-called Ethiopian "Historical Route" (the loop), then take a train ride to Harar and back (not represented), and move down from Addis to Moyale and into Northern Kenya--assuming, of course, I avoid the biblical floods and cholera epidemic . After what will probably be an unsuccessful attempt to approach Lake Turkana from Marsabit, I will make a loop around Mount Kenya and head westward across the Rift Valley to the Lake Victoria port town of Kisimu (with some island-hopping to the Tom Mboya mausoleum), and cross the border into Uganda where I will scope out Mount Elgon.

Phase II: Uganda-Rwanda-DRC-Tanzania

With a possible jaunt to Northeastern Uganda possible, I'll make my way to Kampala and bask on the insouciant Sese Islands. From there it's west to the Rwenzori "Mountains of the Moon." After traipsing about a bit in southwestern Uganda, I'll make my way into Rwanda's National Volcanoes Park. From Gisneyi--where I will no doubt perform more basking, not to mention torrid tropical love-making--I hope to pay a visit to Goma in the Democratic Republic of the Congo with an eye toward scaling the mighty active volcano of Nyiragongo in what could best be called a thinly veiled suicide attempt. Back in Rwanda, I'll move east through Butare, up to Kigali and east to the Tanzanian border.

Phase III: Tanzania-Mozambique

Having shaken off the worst of the cerebral malaria, I'll hopefully wind up in Mwanza. From there, an excursion to Ukerewe Island will be necessary, after which 'I'll take the train to Dodoma via Tabora. From Dodoma, I will head north to the Crater Highlands, where I hope to pay another visit to the Hadza and pen some Peter Matthiessen-type musings to the accompaniment of toxic banana beer. Then east I go to Moshi where I hope to live nestled in the foothills of Mount Kilimanjaro for a few weeks. Mount Meru may also be climbed at this time. The next stop will be Dar es Salaam. Moving down the coast of Southeastern Tanzania, I'll visit the Kilwa ruins and finally cross into Northern Mozambique where the going gets tough from the get-go. Assuming I avoid wandering into a hippo pod, I'll make it to the Ilha de Mocambique, a derelict Portuguese trading post from the 16th century.

Phase IV: Mozambique-Malawi-Tanzania

The return trip to Addis is represented by the sort-of-magenta color. Incidentally, I once had tennis strings this color and suffered the ridicule of my peers who called them "gay-lesbian colors." It was humiliating.

In all honesty, I figured that I would just trudge back up through Mozambique into Tanzania, but that looked pretty boring in the MS Paint program, so now maybe I'll head west across Lake Malawi to Malawi itself. From the Tanzanian border, I'll take the train back to Dar es Salaam, and move up to Nairobi, Kenya.

Phase V:

From Nairobi, I may hike the Loita hills. I'll head north-by-northwest through the Rift Valley, hiking the crater lakes and escarpments. I'll get my visa stamp in Eldoret from where I'll access Lowar on the western side of Lake Turkana and cross the border into Ethiopia in a test of the Christian God's fury at my hubris. From the Omo Valley, I'll gradually make my way back to Addis and fly back to Wisconsin, the glorious land of cheeses.